Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith w/ Bug Mane [Re-Release]

[00:00:00] Buzz, baby. We got the Buzzmates. We are about to go... That's me. Yes. Guys, let's... we knew this day had to come. Yeah, we knew it had to happen. It's inevitable as the fall of Anakin himself. I think that this is the most controversial thing that I've ever done in my life, is unmasking myself as a prequels liker. You know what I mean? But it's the most important thing you've done, if we're really being honest. Thank you. Thank you so much.

[00:00:30] Yeah, no. This is... people are not kind about prequels love, and they try to throw it in your face all the time, but I stand here and I stand proud. It's about as socially brave as anything else I can imagine. Yes. So let's just... Wow. Let's just get right into it. Yeah. We are the most socially brave. Most socially progressive. For coming out, talking about something that happened in the past. It's something that's outside, you know, so many things, you know, are outside of the over-

[00:01:00] Overton window. And then, you know, time, you know, things change over time, and tastes shift and everything like that, and then, you know, you would never have... Anyway. Saying that the prequels suck was okay to say in 1999. That was a different time then. That was a different time. And I highly recommend that as our social standards change, that too will change. Yes.

[00:01:27] We're, by the way, also about to watch the one that is kind of the most undeniable of the prequels. Yes. This is the sort of most, you know, even, you know, hardcore prequels haters will usually find some things to like about this episode three, Revenge of the Sith. You can't deny it. It's a good movie. It's a good movie. I'm looking forward to watching it again. I've always enjoyed it. Even back in the day, even with all the negative propaganda that we broke down.

[00:01:57] Oh, yeah. On our last Attack of the Clones episode, Bug just opened everyone's eyes. We got so many great responses from people. It hurts when you break, you know, the first to break through the wall is always the bloodiest, they say. And I, too, have, like Christ, you know, been bloodied and hurt on behalf of a people. A people that are now allowed to watch...

[00:02:24] The closest thing we have to a modern-day Homer, a modern-day Shakespeare. Yes. The closest thing and the thing that is the most, not only prescient, but also the most well-equipped for future generations, I would also argue, are these tales.

[00:02:44] They cut through trends, and they're easily translatable into foreign languages and alien languages. Yeah, I think that, yeah, these will be movies that will be easily understood by aliens. Yes. And in fact, if we want to just start going with it... Yeah, we should get into it.

[00:03:05] Because I want to just bring up my first point, which is, I now view the prequels as if I went on Neptune and found their Bible. And was like, what is this? And they're like, in our Neptune class, like, you know, you like have little kids' books and classes about Jesus. Like, we show them this. We show them the books, the sticker books with Anakin and the coloring books.

[00:03:29] And, like, our tale is about this boy who is, like, a dark, an evil Christ. It's a little annoying when people talk about, you know, plot elements that don't make sense or things that are contradictory. Because that's like being like, yeah, well, like... Imagine doing that with the Bible. No one never could have built a boat that, like, actually could have had every animal on it. And there's no way C-3PO would have been built by the evil antichrist.

[00:03:57] You're like, these kinds of coincidences show up in the Bible and impossible logistical questions show up in the Bible. You ignore them. It was for like 500 years. Yes. We should get into the actual movie. So let's do the countdown, right? Should we do this, Leslie? Yeah. All right. Three, two, one, go. And here it is. Wow.

[00:04:25] Again, the only way to know that you're watching a real Star Wars film. Well, now, you know, now they own Fox. So maybe they'll just put the 20th century Fox on there. They will definitely bring it back for Rise of Skywalker. Which, by the way, is a whole other issue we have to get into. The reshoots. Yes. And what they've been retconning into their own terrible trilogy, which is basically taking everything they can from prequels to add in. They know it's great and they can't escape it.

[00:04:54] They're trying to copy that greatness. Yeah. They recognize their folly. And sometimes that happens. Like, people go, you know, I didn't know. Forgive me. Forgive me. And I don't think they're asking for forgiveness. They're trying to pretend like they didn't need it. War. All right. War. But see, that's another beautiful thing. First off, titles. Revenge of the Sith.

[00:05:24] Attack of the Clones. The Phantom Menace. Highly serialized, pulpy titles. Not bland. Rise of the Lightsaber. Skyward. Yeah. Like, I actually think the prequels titles kind of tell a story a little bit. Like, there's the Phantom Menace. The Attack of the Clones. The Empire Strikes Back. The New Ones are The Force Awakens, The Last Jedi, and The Rise of Skywalker. I guess maybe if it is true that they're going to start calling the Jedi Skywalkers.

[00:05:54] Oh, no. Maybe it tells a story. Well, like we were saying, what they're doing now is they're trying to own their own bootleg. So just think of those as bootlegs. That's what they would be called if you're trying to convince someone that your property is the same as the good property. If you were at Costco and you looked at a bootleg Star Wars, it would be called The Final Lightsaber. In Turkish Star Wars, like Space Wars, they would be like, the Skywalkers are coming. Yes.

[00:06:24] Turkish. Yeah. Great shot. But here's the real shot. Here's the real shot. This is over the city planet. You could tell. And this is also, like in any Great War film, this is all a one-er, by the way. Yeah. This is a one-er. And even though it's digital, this is ILM, so it looks better. It's not JJ's terrible thing. It's also like, we're in now, we're in episode three, and it looks like fucking good. Reveal. Reveal. Yeah. Great shot. Great shot.

[00:06:53] I always love to see Coruscant from space. I really do. You are immediately in a battle. A full battle. Not like the battle in The Last Jedi that just seemed very local in between two ships. Well, right about here is where we'd be getting the prank phone call in The Last Jedi. Yes. Instead, we have two friends, camaraderie, that we've seen grow up together, and they are pilots together, Jedi Knights, fighting this epic giant battle.

[00:07:23] I mean, I'm not going to explain everything, but. Wow. Oh, you got a little CG. And that was a great one-er right there. Great shot. A one-er that revealed things. You see, got Anakin. He's, you know, a little bit older. Allow me to also point you to the retro-looking headsets that they have. Almost from a Buck Rogers. It's gold. These are things that if Kathy Kennedy would say, that's not Star Wars, in her trying to

[00:07:52] define her fake bootleg version of Star Wars is actually defeating every choice an actual Star Wars creator like George Lucas would have made. And that is why also all the ships, headsets, droids, everything looks like shit in the new ones, and why in this one it's all fresh-looking and good. We have a retro hairstyle. He's connecting. He was actually trying to connect that 70s retro thing to the original trilogy better and

[00:08:21] before and in a more substantive way than the new prequel or the new sequels are trying to make it any connection to 70s look. He wanted his hair 70s. He wanted the headsets Buck Rogers. This is revenge. These are new decisions being made of design that last. These are great. And I like the progress. We got Anakin with the scar. We don't know how he got the scar, but we know he's older. He's more mature.

[00:08:50] He's grown since the last movie. Yeah. He's a better pilot than Obi-Wan. Also, that really does add to the sort of episodic serial feel. In the good kind of serial. In the good way. In a way that I even think the original trilogy was a little less like. These just feel like you are sort of watching a random Flash Gordon episode or something.

[00:09:19] And that's the beauty of them. And that's when Indiana Jones works at its best. That's when Star Wars works at its best. Is that. And that's something that they obviously we discuss this on many times. But Last Jedi picks up exactly where the other one left off. There's absolutely no gap in these serialized things. Which Star Wars is. As well mixed with Bible stories that teach us lessons. Is a serialized adventure. You catch up with them. And you're learning in the actions of the mission they're on. The time that has passed.

[00:09:49] What has changed. What is different. Through showing. Don't tell. And I mean you got this sense of real danger. They're not. It's not just quippy and jokey. And nothing. There's no. And that's another thing that these. These films aren't adherent to. Is quippy, jokey, post Lego movie, Pixar rewriting rooms.

[00:10:16] Because again these are the biggest independent films ever made. And he basically just did it himself. So they. In order for them. Another reason why they last so long. And will not actually be timeless rather than dated. Which is what everyone thought when they came out. Because they were so heavily digital. Yeah. Is that actually the design holds up. The way that he shot it. Holds up. It's formal. And there's no. Of the moment joke. Like jokiness. Types of jokes.

[00:10:44] Yes which will truly date all of the Avengers films. They make them almost. Their shelf life is almost nothing. These were events. Also because we knew we were sending them out into history. He was thinking about that when he was making them. How would an alien planet watch this? How would a generation. Five generations from now watch this. And sometimes that leads to what people would call kind of stilted acting or writing.

[00:11:13] But actually he's trying to do a timeless thing. The way that a Shakespeare or a Homer where you could still read it today. Where maybe generations in between when they were written in now. Would in the moment consider their format or their style outdated or stilted. That was like a hand. That was beautiful. Yeah. This is great. I mean yeah. This sequence is like just cool.

[00:11:48] Like action space dog fighting scene. And also we know their history. And the way they pop out. And this has nothing. This has nothing. Jesus. If you want to see Jedi's just kick ass. Yeah. Also he has this Darth Vader hand. It's almost like it's eating him alive. The virus of Darth Vader. You know. It's like when you touch something in a great novel or a great movie. And it starts. You hide it from your other friends. He touched Darth Vader. You know.

[00:12:17] He is. It's eating him alive. And it's starting with his hand. And truly it will envelop his whole person. But we know these stories. And honestly it's not just them relying on the original trilogy. Through the prequels that we claim are so you know joyless and stilted. We actually know their relationship Obi-Wan and Anakin. They've earned for everything that we criticize them for. And some of which I agree.

[00:12:45] They've earned the character development. We know where they are as characters. Exactly. We know every single person's position. In the new sequels as we come into Rise of Skywalker. Poe, Dameron, Finn, Rey. Where are they right now? I have no way to track them right now. What is where we left off? It was a good. It was bad with Kylo. Finn and Rose. Did he like it? Did we even want them to get together?

[00:13:14] We don't even know these characters. Did we know that Rose wanted him? And we want. There was no if there will they won't they. Right. It was just all arbitrary. Like I said exquisite corpse writing the way that they write the new sequels is passing it off from writer to writer. So it's not knowing what the next person is going to do. Especially especially with this weird. Ryan Johnson one in the middle. Which is like looking more and more clear. I also think that the new one it seems like what they're trying to do is like win with everybody.

[00:13:43] They don't want like the fans on Reddit to be upset with the movie. But they also like want to appeal to that. I think no one's going to like the new one. Unless you know JJ does pull off. You know what he'll do is he'll make sure he's going to add the emperor. He's going to look at that shot. It's so clear. But here these are this is like brand new. So. What JJ is going to do is he's probably going to bring back the emperor. This is what they learned in solo.

[00:14:09] They realize that people actually like Darth Maul more than they like the entire solo movie. And so they actually you know maximalize that into their new trilogy finale. And try to do the a bigger version of the Darth Maul trick. But with the emperor who's going to come back in the new one. They might even go time travel into the original films. Or even I wouldn't even put it past them being so manipulative to try to time travel into the prequels.

[00:14:37] I and that would be JJ's trick to getting everyone to see it is that it's like a ride through the other movies. And you have to see this new one. But it would also admit defeat because you would say oh you obviously could not do it on your own. I would actually enjoy that version more than a highly character centric version with his characters. Because I would rather it be this this circus than it be him thinking that anyone cares about the characters he created.

[00:15:07] It would be admitting that the sequels failed. And he kind of did by bringing back the emperor when the emperor's arc is so clear. And Snoke was such a nothing. Well Snoke was obviously also like a new emperor for him. This is great. I love R2's fight is nice. It's fun. Why not? Let R2 have an adventure. It's a nice kind. We've never had R2 have his own little adventure.

[00:15:33] You're also like I said you're learning about their adventures that Obi-Wan makes fun of R2 sometimes. No excuse me Master Obi-Wan. No loose bolts jokes this time. He's trying his best. Yes. R2 is a little droid but he is mighty Master. He is mighty and I don't want to hear any of those jokes. Here we go. So now if you're talking about Circle or whatever Ring Theory. Yeah.

[00:16:03] This is the beginning of this third movie is the end of the original trilogy third movie where Emperor Palpatine sitting exactly in the same place he is. Yeah. And making someone else try to become his apprentice by killing another apprentice. That's exactly what you're seeing happening right now. It mirrors it perfectly. Something that you know is completely lost.

[00:16:30] The exact same thing as yeah. Yeah. It's the exact same scene. But you know. But you're also you're truly a the way that they would light these half digital half practical sets now is a marvel because you don't even get this much depth. Right. In any any galaxy guardians. You don't get depth like this.

[00:16:57] They don't build out a bunch of practical things to then put a bunch of green stuff behind. There's a reason why that scene we just saw I've been looking forward to this is such a meme. It's because it's fucking cool. And everybody loves it. It's cool in like the most like cartoon kid way where you're like siths are our specialty. We kick their ass. Here's Dooku. We just saw him. He took Anakin's arm off last time.

[00:17:23] So that's actual payoff and character that we're learning these all these characters know each other and we know exactly how they know each other. It's it's it's all of it combined. Good ILM body stuff like that still holds up. Yeah. Yeah. This one the effects like really do hold up in this one more than the other two. The other two have like a cool like visual look.

[00:17:50] But this one just like fully looks like a very modern movie. Yes. Yeah. You're very right about the lighting the light that comes through those slot slats on them. It just tells us it's a real place. A great DP so that the places them there. He created the way that everyone shoots their movies and he did it actually right the first time. And they took the shortcuts because they thought it was all one big shortcut.

[00:18:18] Oh green screen that means we can reshoot reshoot reshoot reshoot reshoot. Right. And then their movies have no depth and they don't do any of those lighting tricks. And he was so so interested in still trying to ground it. But see Anakin. Luke doesn't kill him. And it can does kill him. A simple action in your Shakespearean Bible tale that tells the difference between father and son.

[00:18:48] Wow. He did do it. You know why? Did you see the head rolling off too? Also the prequels more than the original trilogy. Just heads and bodies getting chopped. Badass with lightsabers. Brutal. Too brutal for Disney. He's like I shouldn't have done it. I shouldn't have done that. Oopsie. Oopsie daisies. I shouldn't have murdered him.

[00:19:18] Wow. And they see just like one to one that like Luke is more pure hearted. His head rolled like a Tonga fruit back on my home planet of Tatooine. Bouncing along. His head rolled like a Beezop droid that I once knew. But then you also see that he's not completely pure evil yet. Because he does try to save Obi-Wan. He still loves Obi-Wan.

[00:19:48] Yep. By the way. Ewan McGregor at his like most. You know. Alec Guinness. Obi-Wan. Which. Which everyone wants. Did they actually announce there's going to be an Obi-Wan? Yeah. He sold out. He sold out. I know. They did. But also. He sold this out. What you have to understand also about Ewan in this movie is he created the trend the same way that George Lucas created the way that all films will be made.

[00:20:15] Ewan McGregor in this movie even more. Attack of the Clones also actually. And I think I mentioned this on Attack of the Clones. He created the trend of when Josh Brolin plays Tommy Lee Jones in Men in Black. Even Freddie Mercury. Even anyone playing someone in that way and doing that hard of an impression is is is was figureheaded by Ewan McGregor in this film. Because.

[00:20:42] But the thing is is because Alec Guinness is not super famous. All it does is actually connect everything better. Sure. You now just if I were to watch this in 100 years, I would just think maybe they did shoot these first. We also we also haven't, you know, talked about the hat trick yet of like Ian McDiarmid is in these and like. Well, the reverse boyhood was made to look old like back in George Lucas had the foresight actually aged to look like how he looked in the.

[00:21:09] And and and obviously now a great and terrible gift to JJ is that he could still use him. But George had the foresight to hire a younger actor in Return of the Jedi or reverse boyhood so that he can play older there, then play younger in the future when he actually needs him to actually age himself into this character. So are we saying that George should have had him killed after he filmed the prequels? Yes. OK. Yes. He should. That. Well, no, he shouldn't have had him killed.

[00:21:38] Ian McDiarmid should have understood that for the parameters of this role, he has to die. He should have. Yeah. It's like it's like when it's like when Nero killed his architects after building the great the great temple. They understood. You know, he had to kill them so they can never build anything as great again. That you know, they had the right idea about certain things on a macro scale that I wish we still had had the vision for. Oh, look at that.

[00:22:05] That another that might have even come at the exact mark in Return of the Jedi when R2 does that in the sand dune. Let's look that up. Because also he cares about his movies. That's another thing that I actually think that J.J. I actually think J.J. does not like Star Wars at all. And I really I think that he's lying about how much he likes the original trilogy. And I don't even think he's watched all of these.

[00:22:33] And I think that he holds it as a point of pride that he is now in charge of Star. He thinks that he's the ultimate best ain't it cool news who hated prequel nerd. I didn't even watch all of them. And I'm in charge of that's because there's. And actually what he did is he fucked himself because now he will go down in posterity as the man who bobbled the ball and ruined all of Star Wars.

[00:22:55] I do want to speak on that because a lot of people after our last couple of episodes are saying, well, but Red Leader Media said the prequels were bad like 10 years ago. And those videos and like they broke it down. And so how can you possibly disagree with them? I'm like, so I actually went back and watched some of those fucking videos. I downloaded the real media files. It's fake news. They're old. They're super old. They're super dated.

[00:23:23] They're full of both racist jokes and a subplot where they where they kidnap, rape and torture women. Like this is literally in their reviews. So I would the insult. The insult opinion is that the prequels are bad. Yes, that's the. So imagine now you're aligning yourself with Red Letter Media. Right. Where they think that's actually humor and they are criticizing things.

[00:23:51] Look, I could criticize things in the movie Grease. I could be like this shot does it. But you know what? Grease is good. And like that's a movie that people love for all of time. Scarface. I can criticize. These movies are similar. They are made with the foresight of all time rather than the moment that they're in. The Red Letter Media and all the propaganda, which, by the way, propaganda that was propagated by Disney in order to get George Lucas to sell his own franchise.

[00:24:21] He goes back all the way. Oh, yeah. These are independent films. Do you understand that these are independent films? The studio system did not like he only put the 20th Century Fox there as like almost a fuck you. Yes. So that everything is the same. These are independent films. This is just the coolest shit. Yeah. This really is. How could you look at this? Look at this shot. How it moves. This is better than any Guardians. Also, we have a guy. This is so cool.

[00:24:48] I was about to say we have a guy who collects lightsabers from Killed Jedi. Yeah. He is the thought experiment of at what point do you become a robot if you keep replacing your parts with robot parts? Right. He was an alien that keeps replacing his parts with robot parts. That's why he coughs because he still has, I think, like the eyes, the brain and the lungs and the heart of an alien. So he in his character. But they don't explain that. It's like a great serial. They just show up.

[00:25:17] They already know who the fuck General Grievous is from the Clone Wars. And guess what? This is our new bad guy. This is our Darth Maul. He's a villain. Yes. That's who he is. He's a villain and he's scary. He's scary and he's got a lot of lightsabers. Yeah. And in the classic sequel way, they actually do the thing where, guess what? You thought Darth Maul with two heads? It has four lightsabers. Yeah. So there you go. He's settling all.

[00:25:44] He's doing it on the most skin deep level and on the deep level. Rey is going to maybe have like a switchblade type of lightsaber. Also, Rey, I mean, look, that shot is a reshoot. Her face is put into that body. She did not shoot that. If you look at that shot. Oh, yeah. Her face, the hood does not sit on her head in any real way. They did that just for the trailer. And right now they're reshooting to try to. They did this with.

[00:26:13] They do this all the time. They put a shot in there. Right. And then they retcon. They try to retroactively put that shot into the plot of the movie. That's not even her doing it. They just thought that would be something someone would care about, which again, guess what? It looks like a Darth Maul lightsaber. And they're doing the fucking thing. They saw Solo. They saw the cards at the test screening. We only like the Darth Maul part. All right. Well, let's bring back Emperor Palpatine and give her a Darth Maul lightsaber, which is

[00:26:39] only admitting defeat and admitting that the prequels bested them. Well, the prequels definitely bested the sequel trilogy. I actually. I really would like to see if anyone would still make that. That's exactly it. I think still. Especially after the new one comes out. Right. Let's all quiz everyone. Yeah.

[00:27:03] And see if the story of the sequel as a trilogy, which works best as a like just story. That's I mean, honestly, it will get to the point where I think that people will not collect. I don't. I think that those aren't even going to be played on on your streaming services or anything. I think that honestly, people will recognize just by the numbers that. That they just don't do well because people can see bullshit. Well, no.

[00:27:31] The sequels are the Hillary of no one will ever know that because they're going to be people saw the bullshit. They didn't know why they just knew in their gut. People won't know that, though, because they'll be sequestered over on Disney Plus where we'll never see ratings or know anything. And it's just like part of the like Star Wars channel. By the way, look at this shot. Yeah, it looks awesome. Look at this shot. All the way. Wow. Yep. Beautiful. And copied so many times since. So many times. So many times.

[00:28:00] JJ does that shot in every Star Trek movie. He has that. Yes, he does. He actually took it. JJ. What? Coruscant. What a Judas. Yeah. He's a Judas goat. JJ stands for Judas Judas. He's a double Judas. He's a double Judas. To Lucas's. George Lucas as Christ. So what do you think it was?

[00:28:29] JJ pretended to be a disciple. He got in by way of Spielberg. But he's a Judas Judas. I think JJ is a Manchurian candidate created by Spielberg. Oh. To take Stan. To take. And Kathy too. Well. To take Star Wars. Yes. To ruin George. Yeah. To ruin George. Because Spielberg never had his franchise. It's almost Anakin with Obi-Wan. It's true. It's a very similar tale. Like Obi-Wan is like George. You know. They're just trying to.

[00:28:58] They're so jealous of that George went off. Made Star Wars. Owned all of it. Yeah. And kept making it. And everyone called him a genius. That once his prequels came out. They had their phasers and tasers lined up. To not only spread propaganda that everyone hates the movie. We all know this is true now with fake news and the election. Guess what? People have been doing it for years. And the corporations have been doing it for years. Wow. And they did it with the prequels.

[00:29:26] Do you think they weren't happy that George was out there on his own? JJ is a Manchurian. He's a cipher. He's a Manchurian candidate. Wow. That was completely put in by Spielberg. And Kathy Kennedy in order to usurp George. And Kathy Kennedy was put in by all of those people too. Because she was CEO of Lucasfilm. She was over at Lucas. And then convinced him to sell. And bartered the deal. Yeah.

[00:29:56] And then got the company. Another traitor. Bail Organa. Bail Organa who the Rogue One people were smart enough to put in. They immediately embraced the prequels. Think about that too. What is your favorite Disney Star Wars? Because everyone will say Rogue One. And then I go, okay, what is it about Rogue One? Oh, guess what?

[00:30:25] The Rogue One people immediately embraced the prequels. They hired the Mon Mothma that was deleted from Revenge of the Sith. So they actually hired the same actress that played Mon Mothma in Revenge of the Sith. That is looking through the books. That's doing your homework. And they got Jimmy Smith to reprise Bail Organa. These are people. Your favorite Disney Star Wars respects the prequels. At this point, it's not even an argument. Just admit that you're wrong.

[00:31:10] And we got more of this beautiful love story. Yeah. Amazing stuff. Can you imagine what you might be driven to if you lost a love this pure? Anything. Anything. You'll push you even perhaps to the dark side. I mean, it's undeniable that this is like sort of the best looking so far of the prequels. Like this says it has a very like modern and cool look to it. Yeah. Yeah. It really does. Hold on.

[00:31:38] Like when people say the prequels are bad, like what are you talking about? This movie is good. People have always liked this movie. People have always liked Return of the Sith. I think people are talking about Attack of the Clones. And I will even say that that's the worst of them. You know what I mean? The worst? Is that the worst? Do we really even use that term even more? I think people are very unfair with Phantom Menace. And people like put all this shit on Phantom Menace that is totally fucked up.

[00:32:05] Some of the Attack of the Clones hate is like justifiable. But I don't think so. You know, it's just the worst. Well, look, I will say this. Sometimes Attack of the Clones is my favorite of all the stories. I know. You said that. Because look, it exemplifies the serial nature. It's a new war. Oh, look, it's Wakanda. It's Wakanda right now. It's Wakanda right now. It's Wakanda. It's Wakanda on the screen. I forgot that they stole this. Yeah. Well, they stole Wakanda from Naboo. They stole it from this. Yes.

[00:32:36] Wakanda stole everything. And this. Wow. Grievous is so cool. I think that music cue while he walks out as well is a great cue. It's horrifying. We're on new planets. This character is like coughing and fucked up. He's so cool. He's a coughing robot. Inherently health flawed robot. Sidious Grievous is just so cool, as you said. That's another thing I was saying.

[00:33:06] Like, every single instinct that J.J. and Kathy Kennedy think is wrong for their Star Wars. The point I was making before about the gold headsets. Or, you know. The same thing with the names. Them being called General Grievous. Or, you know. Sidious. Darth Maul. Or Sidious. Maul. Salacious Crumb. Yeah.

[00:33:31] These are names that Kathy and J.J. would think are too on the nose and silly for their fake bootleg Star Wars. So, they name everyone Kaz Manasa. Maz Kanasa. Baza Don Dasas. Laz La La Las. Like, they have no imagination because their thinking. It proves their in-the-box thinking. Their complete lack of imagination. Wow. Is that they actually quarter themselves and square themselves off within a corner of what they imagine.

[00:34:01] What it would sound like if they made a Star Wars. Instead of what Star Wars actually is, which means anything can happen and let's tell the story for all time. Complete another thing with the names. The names are. Darth Tyranus is. Tyrannus. Right. Is what Count Dooku's Sith name is. Tyrannus. Right. Brilliant. Attack of the Clones. Darth Tyrannus. Right. These are Phantom Menace. Like, get on the point. We're telling a story.

[00:34:31] What about Kylo Ren? Oh. Means nothing. It's almost as if from a Star Wars name generator online. It's almost like they got so in the 11th hour, they were downstairs and they just started typing in names into the online Star Wars name generator. By the way, I love that. We just had like a box transition. Like, it just went down in little squares. Another thing that they think they're so above.

[00:34:59] They're like, Last Jedi is the longest movie, which thinks it's the most important. And it has the least amount of wipes. You're like, why would you do that? You made it longer and did less wipes. Another thing. It has nothing to do with the casting. It just those decisions are why people that like Star Wars are like, fuck you, dude. Look at this CG arm. Yeah. It's actually a little bit cooler than C-3PO's red arm. Yeah. Which he sees in have red eyes now.

[00:35:27] Which another cynical thing. Like, how could he just do that? Red eyes, red arm. Also allow me to say, Hayden Christensen, this is for the ladies out there. Yeah. No matter what you think about him, girls do think that he is sexy. Yes. And they do want to fuck him. It's true. And that's something that I would actually say is in the argument. I'm not making this argument right now. But in the argument that the Star Wars prequels are better than the original trilogy, the way

[00:35:56] that that argument loses is Han Solo. But then I would say in Return of the Jedi, he's almost asexual. And in this one, Hayden is the most sexual. He has long hair. He has a scar. He's like half naked with a robot arm. And she's pregnant. It's like he is the most like sexual. I would say in the argument that the prequels are better than the original trilogy, the sexiness of Hayden Christensen actually plays a big role.

[00:36:22] And Poe Dameron and Finn are, and Kylo are at this point incels. Well, there's also something like honestly. And all this guy, Anakin wants to do his fuck all day long. He already fucked her. He put a baby in her. He's like, he is fucking Natalie Portman, who for the guys is like obviously the most beautiful. Rey is like nothing compared to Padme. We shouldn't say she's nothing. Oh, I will say it. It's fine. Okay. Yeah, exactly.

[00:36:52] So we are talking about a highly smoldering sexual story that is happening in the prequels similar to the 1960s version of Romeo and Juliet. I would also say that was a very sexual film. That's why that one is held and as a great film. You need the sexual tension. Yeah, there's something very soap opera about it. And, you know, people will make the complaint that their relationship is like weird or that it's not how it would happen in real life.

[00:37:20] But I actually think that that's what makes it kind of more like fairy tale. Have you ever seen two super hot, horny people try to be in a relationship? Also, if you're holding this to the standard that you would hold like old Disney movies, like what are you doing? You love you. Those are those are God's gift to Earth. But these are stilted. I'd actually say the only thing they have is that there's some, you know, just predictably like just very old school. Like I, you know, trite kind of ways of pronouncing your love.

[00:37:50] But it is they are sexy no matter what the sexiness of Padme and Anakin is undeniable. It is the sexiest Star Wars has ever gotten. Besides Han and Leia in Empire Strikes Back. But Han and Leia in Return of the Jedi is not sexy. So you have to understand. Yeah, no, everyone. You can tell in Return of the Jedi that everyone didn't like each other that much and they were all really fucked up on drugs.

[00:38:19] Like you can kind of tell in the acting that like everyone's kind of in their own world of whatever drug they were on at that time. I think I and. Similarly, he kind of distilled. He thinks of these actors. As chess pieces, as puzzle pieces, the same way he thinks of a little digital Yoda. He's thinking for posterity. He's thinking 100 years in the future.

[00:38:48] He found he asked basically Sofia Coppola, his mentor's daughter, who the sexiest guy in the world was. He was in Virgin Suicides for a scene. And Sofia Coppola told him there's a guy named Hayden Christensen that every girl I know wants to fuck. And that's how he found Hayden Christensen. And then he was in Life as a House and he's sexy in Life as a House. Like this is the kid that every girl wanted to fuck. And Natalie Portman was the girl that every guy wanted to fuck.

[00:39:16] And he put them in the center of the biggest Bible, highly budgeted Star Wars trilogy and had them fuck each other. That is he did that for all posterity. He got them on crispy clean HD just to show us that just to show the aliens how sexy and good looking we can be when the aliens watch it. They're not going to be talking about the line readings or the acting.

[00:39:43] They're looking at the story from one step above us. And by the way, just visually you can tell what the story is. This may be what some alien like civilization, this may be what they first learn about human sex from. Yes. Actually, this might be the first images of sexiness that they ever see. I wouldn't be surprised. And the thing is, is that I don't think it's in the way that people think it's like, oh, they discover road trip, you know, in the sand.

[00:40:13] The way that they're going to find movies is by the movies that actually mean the most to us. And the original trilogy and the prequel trilogy play every now it's starting to become a thing. Every holiday weekend, they're playing the original trilogy and this prequel trilogy. They're not leaving the prequel trilogy out and playing the original trilogy and the new sequels. They'll throw a sequel or a rogue one in there.

[00:40:39] But if you think about it in terms of a serial and in terms of the actual storytelling mechanics that need to pay off when you're watching a serial, the prequels played before the original trilogy pay off in a way that these sequels have nothing to do with. You can absolutely snip them out of there and no one will know the difference. If you play these six movies back to back on TBS, which they are now doing every holiday season, that makes sense. I watch those in order. Makes perfect sense.

[00:41:08] Everything pays off. Every single thing. It's a complete closed circle. I want to just say how badass like Anakin already looks already wearing the black. Like he looks like look at how clean that like wide angle push in was with all of the digital characters, everything. Yeah, this is like they you know, he perfected the method. It is finally working in this movie. It's like we think that art is if we think that art house filmmaking is like I'm going

[00:41:36] to pretend to I'm going to troll someone by pretending to make a fake show or a fake movie in another country and it like all this kind of like interesting way of trolling and making fake things. He thought of that, but he thought about it in terms of aliens. He thought about it in terms of galaxies. He was like, I am making I'm making a little funny thing here, but it's it's it's for the aliens. This is this is to communicate with them.

[00:42:07] This is the most punk rock alternate like alt rock alt punk rock. Crazy thing you can do is make on your own with your own money and independent film series. Each movie costs 200 million dollars. They all are just people talking to aliens and good versus evil. There's not one tether to anything pop culture or earthly at all. And you just release them.

[00:42:37] Boop. Boop. Boop. Guess what? The corporations didn't like that. Set up a coup. Manchurian candidate. JJ. Kathy Kennedy's going in. They steal it from him in order to make it more worldly and more of its era. Yeah. Thus ruining the entire thing. More so that happened. And they see the schism being created.

[00:43:07] Yeah. And this is something they've set up since the first scene of Attack of the Clones when Anakin is in the elevator talking about how he saved Obi-Wan one time. They've been setting up this character stuff. You know, you could say that it's like it's like, you know, takes long or is it by the book? But you know what?

[00:43:28] In these days, we need a by the book macro storytelling where right now we are trying to get just fast, disposable storytelling. Everything is lost. When JJ and Damon Lindelof came out with Lost, they ruined all of Hollywood because they said you don't have to pay anything off. Bob Iger caught on, too.

[00:43:54] Yeah, I do think, you know, these new Star Wars are kind of like trying to get through them quickly enough so you don't notice they're not really a movie. Like these ones. Well, that's also what Marvels are. There's no beginning. The beginning is the ending of the last one. And the ending is the beginning of the new one. How can we make these faster? How can we get you into the theater? Imagine this is what I was saying about directors. Also, it's like there's going to be a director that's driving an Uber. I'm going to be like, hey, what's up?

[00:44:21] And he's like, you know, I directed Kong 2 in 20 years. Oh, what happened? I don't know. I directed Kong 2. I did like a Sundance movie. I directed Kong 2. And then that's it. I bottomed out. The amount of Spider-Men, King Kongs, Star Warses, Guardians that are going to exist is infinite. Let's just make the cutoff clear. They make disposable content. They're making internet videos as movies.

[00:44:49] I think that they are doing like what Funny or Die used to do as like just a fake trailer. Now we just make us full length movies. Yeah. Like Fat Thor. Fat Thor would have been a Funny or Die video. And instead it was like half of the plot of the new of the newest and biggest film of all time. Yeah. My wife was watching the Spider-Man Far From Home. And I swear to God, I walk in the room 45 minutes in. She starts asking me about the blip and how it works.

[00:45:17] I'm like, wasn't this the movie that was supposed to explain what happened to all the people during the blip? I don't even know what the blip is. Exactly. Exactly. That's the thing is it doesn't matter. They just don't explain it. Imagine it's like Lost. I'm telling you, they all went to the same writer's work. It's the same J.J. Abrams writer's workshop. Pixar, Damon, all of these Avengers people. How can we? By the way, they're learning soap opera techniques. Damon Lindelof has a new movie he co-wrote coming out.

[00:45:47] Do you know who he co-wrote it with? Who? Nick Cuse. Oh, Carlton Cuse's son. Yeah. Carlton Cuse's son co-wrote. How'd they hook up to his son? Also, guys, can we just, yeah, let's revel in. This is why it's like there's people like, there are wizened professionals. People like Michael Haneke, a director in Europe. Yeah. George Lucas.

[00:46:13] People that, they're not the sons and daughters of anyone else that did anything. They just liked movies a lot. They liked movies. They're old. They're not cool. They're not of the era. And they make independent and thought-provoking films only thinking about the future. Haneke, Lucas, wizards. These are wizards.

[00:46:37] Not the son of Carlton Cuse mixed with Damon Lindelof wearing his little earring and shit. All talking about how, as development executives, they can both pitch something that doesn't have an ending and two audiences trick them into thinking there's an ending. Yeah. All we have to do is get past the executives without them realizing there's not an ending. And then all we have to do is get it through to release. Just skip past the audience without thinking that there's an ending. Anyone noticing, yeah.

[00:47:06] And we'll keep doing that and outrun- Oh, by the way, George Lucas, look at this Twi'lek. Yeah. George Lucas knew what the fuck he was doing. George Lucas was like, how about the Met Gala? How about I fucking take you to a Cirque du Soleil? And this is better- This is more of a Star Wars Vegas than Last Jedi. Yeah. This is like if you're in an actual Star Wars Vegas, a Cirque du Soleil show at a Star Wars Vegas. Oh, this is cool. Not like the Rian Johnson. There's just two-

[00:47:36] Oh, Leslie. I forgot about this. This is like the best scene in film history, maybe. I remember the talk, but not all the stuff going on in the background that's really cool, too. Oh, yeah. The opera is so cool. It's an abstract Cirque du Soleil space Star Wars opera in like a Star Wars Coruscant Vegas. Look at this person behind him. I know. This is like one of his minions. And this is in serials.

[00:48:04] This is the time that the guy tells him about the crazy shit. Also, just this. That is so cool. This is like when Hitler tells them about the final solution over watching Mephisto. Like Mephistopheles is performing while Hitler is like, we will take care of them. This is the exact scene that comes in our dramas that is supposed to happen. We should probably.

[00:48:34] We should just probably watch this. Yes. Maybe also Ian McDermott. Let's talk about a Shakespearean actor who deserves the respect. Yes. By the way, when George casts a Shakespearean actor in a movie, you know, he puts Ian McDermott in. He actually gives him a lot to do. Not like Max von Sydow, who is put there only for the Variety article so that the development executive in disguise as a director, a.k.a. J.J.

[00:49:03] Abrams, a.k.a. The Manchurian candidate, a.k.a. Judas Judas, can check off in the Variety article that there is a Shakespearean actor. You know what he's going to be. Oh, wait. No, he's not. Because the reshoots actually got him out of it. He's there for a day. This is so good. This scene is so good. This is Satan. Like, actually, Hayden is good in this scene. Hayden, look. He's good in this movie.

[00:49:31] I'm trying to gain recruits to our cause. I'm not even going to get into the argument where Hayden Christensen is actually a great actor. I'm not even going to get into that argument because I can make that argument very, very, very easily. That's too deep. That's OT. That's OT. Because if you've ever seen Shattered Glass, you know that he's actually a great actor. Good is the point of view. Wow. Wow. Good and evil.

[00:50:00] Remember how, like, people freaked out because the last Jedi said this exact same thing? How subversive that was? Also, this is, like I'm saying, this is the best actor that we've seen through 20 years do a reverse boyhood. Wow. And now we have him HD in an actual Star Wars Cirque du Soleil talking to the sexiest young James Dean actor alive. And guess what?

[00:50:25] He's telling the audience, he's watching this insane movie with Jar Jars and Wattos. Oh, this shit. About what good and evil is. He is the new version of the devil. As Christianity and as all religions fade away, we look to the prequels. We hear Darth Plagueis the Wise and it's the scary, like, opera. A legend. Also, a movie talking about the legend.

[00:50:53] It goes to Last Emperor, Bertolucci. We're talking about this is how storytelling is done. Yeah. To create life. Look at his face. He's so good. This, like, is what Star Wars is all about. It's, like, giving the best actors in the world, Alec Guinness, Ian McDiarmid, giving them, like, this shit that, like, is just bonkers.

[00:51:20] This scene right here is almost so palpable. It's almost like watching, like, a snuff film. It's, like, the most palpable, scary, clear vision that was captured sometime in 2004 or some shit on a Sydney, Australia stage. But I'm watching it right now in 2019 because it was perfectly done. Still gives you chills. And look at that silhouette. It's so good. Might I also say I'm currently wearing a shirt. Out of this scene.

[00:51:50] Right? What's written on Bug's shirt right now is, did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? Might I also say that I was one of the first people, if not the first people, to popularize the meme of Darth Plagueis the Wise? Because the day that I, the Doughboys came out when I read the entire monologue. Yeah. The next day it was, the meme was number one on Reddit. Yeah, the prequel memes kicked off. Bug says, and this is, who knows, he says it's true.

[00:52:19] He says that the prequel memes Reddit account started after he was on. It's not the prequel memes Reddit account because I was definitely part of the people that were making that happen. But it kicked off. I'm saying specifically, Darth Plagueis the Wise speech. Yeah. Kicked off. By the way, here we are. This is also Kashyyyk. Kashyyyk. Yeah. We're looking at brand new Kashyyyk troopers. We are looking at a brand new planet. So imagine. From the Seeky books. Oh, we're on the Wookiee planet.

[00:52:49] Cool. Imagine if Endor, which we all know the Ewoks were proto kind of like Wookiees. Imagine if that was 20 times the size. Because like you would see in nature, if the fish is bigger, the thing is bigger. Right. A brand new planet.

[00:53:13] And George took what he's read in the sequel books or in Knights of the Old Republic and just put it in his film. Like, oh, do the Wookiees live in giant trees? That's what you're saying in your video game? That's kind of cool. I'm going to put that in. He actually like read. He kept the stuff from the EU. Actually Kashyyyk. No, actually Kashyyyk is in the Star Wars Holiday Special. Oh, but it is true.

[00:53:36] But I will say George read every single EU, even things that weren't considered canon. He read every single one. That is something that the people that now own Star Wars, Bob Iger, Kathy Kennedy and J.J. Abrams. I guarantee you, I swear on my own life, have not read every EU. George Lucas has read every single EU. J.J. hasn't read Thrawn, no. He picks.

[00:54:03] This is what I was going to get into with fucking, with the fight at the end of Revenge of the Sith. Mustafar. Oh, yeah. He picked that from the EU that he was going to be on a lava planet. And that Darth Vader had a castle on Mustafar. Yes, in the EU. Also, Coruscant was created in the EU. Swoop bikes. That Anakin rides in Attack of the Clones, EU. Yeah. That's a great shot.

[00:54:33] Great shot. This is like, if you're talking about Star Wars and your kids like Star Wars and you like Star Wars, and there's a scene with all Wookiees fighting on a planet with Yoda there, this is, you have to understand,

[00:54:57] I cannot stress this enough, story points being sent hundreds of years into the future. This is what this is a document of. That's why he wants to keep updating the movies, too. He doesn't care. Like, he truly does not care what people of this right now think. He actually laughs at you. He's like, how many people are on the Earth? Okay, so a billion don't like. Guess what?

[00:55:25] I'm going to, in 300 years, there's going to be another couple billion that do like it. I'm laughing at you right now. This is funny to me that you don't like it. That's the thing, man. He's like, I'm going to give you the elements and the assets to just keep rendering it every hundred years so that all the aliens can see. Right, render it out at a high rate. I mean, because that's just the thing, man. This shit is forever. This is what happened. Are people going to be talking about fucking Finn in 100 years? No. No. That's what I'm saying. That's what I was saying.

[00:55:55] Exactly. Anakin. Luke. C-3PO. Let's put it this way. If you disagree about every single thing that we've been saying. By the way, Clone Wars. That's the clone that is based on Boba Fett. This is Bible's tales. This is all of them. They all get switched like a Manchurian candidate, which he warned us about. Manchurian candidate is when you say something like a little code word and it triggers everyone.

[00:56:25] That's what operation. That's what. Sure. That's what order sticks. Yes. I guess if that's how you're defining a Manchurian candidate. What's the word that Kathy said to JJ? That's what happens in the movie. In the movie. Yeah. What's the word? What do you think the word is that Kathy said to JJ to activate him? I think it's actually. I think it's a phrase from. Gone Fishing. From Beastie Boys. No, it's Gone Fishing. I think it's like a Beastie Boys phrase because he's like loves Beastie Boys so much. I think whenever he hears, you know. Fight for your right to party.

[00:56:55] Planetary. Yeah. Planetary. Look at this hand. Boop. Goes up like that. Yep. George in the commentary was like, I just saw his hand and I thought, well, if it's a robot hand, I could ask ILM to make it go up. He actually talks about it. He's like, that's how he is thinking on these levels that JJ could never, ever think of. He's an idiot. Like this one. JJ is trying to get it approved. Yes.

[00:57:23] Like George is trying to do the approval. It's a big Adidas commercial or something for JJ. It's just how can I get through this and have all of the characters check off? I have to receive five. It's a VR invention. I have to receive five emails from five different people saying yes. Yes. So how do I do that? Fastest while. Yeah. So what's the best way to keep everybody happy and keep the thing rolling forward? Wow.

[00:57:49] It's actually cute that they picked Rian Johnson and failed so horribly. That's actually like a cute thing. Well, that's just... That's how haphazard they were. That they were so behind the times that they actually said to the guy that made Looper, write and direct the second Star Wars. That's how... They were so... They were moving so fast that they had no system of like calibrating who to hire. And they were so dorky that they picked the Looper guy.

[00:58:17] Oh, and then they actually picked the Jurassic World guy. Yeah. And then back down on it. Yes. And Josh Trank. That's how much they were just like... Josh Trank was going to direct Boba Fett. They were just like saying everybody. Josh Trank might be an Uber driver right now. That is actually true. I wouldn't be surprised. Like one day I was directing Michael B. Jordan. The next time driving Jordan B. Michaels. Who the fuck is that? More Wakanda.

[00:58:47] This is another thing I want to bring up. This is just a little fun thing. Is that this actor that Obi-Wan is about to encounter appears in... He's in all of the Australia movies. So he's in the Matrix trilogy as the timekeeper in Revolutions. Oh. Yes. And he's also in Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the... No.

[00:59:14] Lord of the Rings Return of the King Extended Edition as the Mouth of Sauron. This one actor who's playing this. He's the Mouth of Sauron. So he's the Mouth of Sauron in Return of the King Extended Edition. He's the timekeeper. The train man. In Matrix Revolutions. He's the train man in Matrix. Train man. Train man. And he is this character. And so also, they're all the third episode of their trilogy. No, he's in all the third...

[00:59:42] And he comes in as an expository, tortured guy. In each one, in the Mouth of Sauron, he's like, I'm just the Mouth of Sauron. In the other thing, he's like, I'm the train... In this one, he's like, I'm the leader. Please help. Every single one, he's the same video game character that comes in. Like, will you help me? He sends them on a quest in every single time. Yes, he kicks it off. He just kicks these movies off. He always has jacked up teeth.

[01:00:10] He was also in East Ventura When Nature Calls. He's one of the bat poachers. This is just something I know in my autistic brain.

[01:01:07] This is great, by the way. This creature that Obi-Wan rides up. He rides up a big giant lizard with feathers. This lizard chase, apparently, I don't know if it happened... No, I don't think it happened yet. Is direct... I thought that Order 66 was directed by Steven Spielberg, but it wasn't. Because I know one scene was directed by Steven Spielberg in Revenge of the Sith.

[01:01:36] This is something we probably should have mentioned at the beginning of the movie. Oh. But I think that the chase with this lizard... Oh, that does feel a little Spielberg-y. ...was directed by Steven Spielberg. Which, by the way, is another fun thing. Like, George thinks like... He's like, oh, this would be fun, Steven. You could do a Star Wars film one. Would you like to direct a scene? And Steven's like...

[01:02:03] He's like, George, I would love to direct one of your scenes so much. Which, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna pre-visit. Thank you so much. Thank you, Steven, so much. The whole time in Steven's head, he's like, I'm gonna fucking backstab you. How are you enjoying working with Kathy, by the way? I'll direct the scene for you. How is Kathy working out, incidentally? Kathy is... You know, I'm getting old, so I trust her. I trust her. I want...

[01:02:31] She promised me that she would take good care of the franchise. Is that so? Very good. Oh, here we go. Just a one-on-one badass fight. So, if you're talking about a sequel, here's four lightsabers versus one. And he smiles. Also, he smiles and then does a little thing. He does, like, a little pose that's, like, really heroic.

[01:02:58] That's almost like it's Bible and superhero. It's everything. He's like, okay, George is like, this is a Bible superhero film. Um... It's like Tarsem mixed with, like, a Bible show for kids. Bible man and Tarsem. Who did the cell. Also, when you look... This is the other thing. I do think... I don't...

[01:03:25] I am not, as Bugmane, I am not a guy who's saying that you have to watch the prequels in the order. I do think there's a world where the original trilogy is watched before the prequels, which I think is also fun. Because then, when you watch this, you're like, holy shit, that old guy I just watched fucking did this with Grievous? That's fucking crazy. He's like, he fought Grievous and smiled when he took out the four... He watched his fucking... He watched Qui-Gon die? You know what I say?

[01:03:54] I think you can watch the Star Wars movies in any order, so long as it doesn't include the Disney ones. Yes. Watch them in any order you choose. Actually, that order works. Yeah. And you know what? That's where I would say Rogue One has a place in that mix. If you're gonna shake up that box... Okay. Rogue One has a place... And Solo, there's parts of Rogue One and Solo that have a place. Solo is the smallest version. I would say the Darth Maul version. Sure. And then Rogue One is the last act.

[01:04:24] Sure. So it's not... It's really just like the last 30 minutes of Rogue One and the last 10 minutes of Solo with Darth Maul. Have a place in when you shake that box up. And those are the only movies that aren't part of the sequels. Right. Those are the standalones. Wow. Here we go. I think this was Steven Spielberg. This part right here is Steven Spielberg. Jumps on his back.

[01:04:55] Watch a scene directed by Steven Spielberg. Oh, yeah. That looks a little Spielberg-y right there. This is Tintin. This was like a proto-Tintin. Steven Spielberg, ladies and gentlemen. I love this. Wow. Loses a lightsaber. Now what's he gonna do? Yeah. Which is a thing that happens that George keeps talking about?

[01:05:24] He's like, Jedi should lose their lightsabers. JJ immediately just like, no. Also, look at the Twi'lek. Finest Twi'lek you've ever seen. Way more sexy than anything in... Well, Disney movies are not allowed to have sex with them. We know that. We know that they're buying every franchise and we're making them all sexless. Wonderful. You know, I think Disney is creating all the incels out there. That's what I think.

[01:05:51] It's like their clone army is the incels that they're building up secretly. They're taking all sex out of pop culture. And look where that leads us. Look where that gets us. Now that's a Sith's office.

[01:06:21] That's what a Sith would make his office look like. Yeah. It's beautiful. Yeah. Dark. Dark. But modern. It's not that Disney's creating sexless people. It's that they're so scared of committing to anything. They want all of their characters to actually check all the boxes. Rather than having interesting, well-thought-out characters that each one checks a box,

[01:06:45] they want every character so that it doesn't offend international movies and their China box office. They want every character to check. Is Poe gay with Finn or does he love Rey? I don't know. They're all right. See? And really, you could argue that this film is really, that Anakin's fall really,

[01:07:13] is about him being fucked with at work. Like, he's not getting the promotion he's supposed to get. He's not being told all the things he needs to do. Well, that's it now, Leslie, if you want to get into the real deal, you would say George Lucas, The Bible. Okay. Movie, even a movie like Pi, even like the grand idea that there is something like a code, like the Bible, or I would say the Star Wars prequels, that when you write it is so passed through by God

[01:07:43] that it within itself and within its language and its words and characters actually not only talks about every single thing that's ever happened in the past, but will predict within itself everything that will ever happen in the future. Similarly, Anakin actually being a school or shooter. Yeah. Basically him being a shooter. Mirroring that. Predicting it. I mean, applying it. Examining it.

[01:08:12] This film does end with Sandy Hook. This movie could be not only a warning about how fascism and a tale about what happened in the past with Nazism, maybe the only thing that's actually tapped, because God knows that the Marvel movies, those movies are thematically messy. The Marvel movies, I think, are about how corporations are good, and so too are the military-industrial comics. Yes. And the military.

[01:08:40] Thematically messy movies that are not good for us. And how fun it is to be around your co-workers. Yes. The Star Wars prequels are warning us about corporations and governments, and they're also predicting the rise of an entitled man who wants to take his life. Well, I mean, I think what we're seeing, we see what it looks like under failed liberalism.

[01:09:09] We see what it looks like under a failed liberalism, and when people with sort of bad intentions try to take advantage of that and how that can take root in the mind of a certain type of young man. Exactly. And not only did he predict that, he predicted Trump. So imagine he's telling a story about Nazism. He's predicting shooters. He's also predicting Trump, telling a story about Trump. At the same exact time,

[01:09:38] he's predicting his own Lucasfilm company's downfall in Chancellor Valorum being Kathy Kennedy and the Emperor being Steven Spielberg. In the background of that scene were these panels of history, because the Star Wars universe is an old universe, which, of course, you don't get any of that in the sequels. You never see any recognition that these are ancient civilizations. You just get a few books.

[01:10:08] You are getting, you are actually getting, and George Lucas thought about this, you are getting the kind of mural that would be spoken about, and actually Lord of the Rings did this too. That's why Lord of the Rings is another great trilogy. And actually, you know, all six. Well. That they paid attention to the idea of respect for previous legends within their own legend,

[01:10:34] and that world building actually is what propels us and makes us believe that this exists. We can talk about that. We can talk about how in this one, every single area is very intentional, very thought out. There's things in the background that, yeah, you're fine. There are things in the background that tell us things that happened before. In the new one, JJ talks about how they just move the flats around

[01:11:04] to different arrangements to make it look like different areas. They're using the same exact flats. And the only time you hear about it, like I said, that's a funny joke, by the way. Very funny. This is also great. Yeah, it's a great fight. This is a great, a great fight. Look at this expanse, and the lens actually matches the background in special effects, unlike all the Marvel cheapo movies.

[01:11:32] Also, that's a direct payoff to Obi-Wan thinking that a blaster is, you know, like a common man's weapon compared to a lightsaber. Right. Is that he's actually, when he says that, you now know dramatic irony, Shakespeare, back to the future. Saved his life. Actually saved his life. He's not going to tell you about that. That's another thing that you get. So uncivilized. And as I said before, when we were talking about it, this comes directly after Anakin

[01:12:01] has his break with the Jedi, and Obi-Wan shows himself to be a hypocrite in the very next scene. He uses a blaster to kill somebody. Yes. A hundred percent. Yeah, they're like, even Obi-Wan, you know, has a compromise sometimes. The only time that J.J. ever paid attention to the past is when you have Rey and Finn, which I believe was done in a reshoot,

[01:12:30] go on to the Millennium Falcon and say, is this the Millennium Falcon? Are you Han Solo? And then them like, yeah. And so you're like, okay, so they're trying to do the aware thing of like, we're back in a Star Wars. Then, this is a very simple point I'm making. Then, they meet C-3PO and R2-D2, and they don't give a fuck about who they are. And Poe Dameron's like, C-3PO, if I have to tell you to shut the fuck up one more time. So, why are we in a world where Rey, who is not even part of the Resistance,

[01:13:00] who just lives on some planet, knows what the Millennium Falcon, that is famous. But then Poe Dameron, this is such a simple point that I'm making. Yeah. It's actually maybe the most crystalline, simple point to understand why the Star Wars sequels are bad, is that then, Poe Dameron, who is part of the Resistance, who respects General Leia, tells C-3PO to shut up when C-3PO is a hero. A hero. Of the entire, him and C-3, in the first movie, in A New Hope, were given fucking medals and shit.

[01:13:29] People were like, C-3PO, we love you. He's made by, let alone by Return of the Jedi, let alone by R2 helping out everyone that's ever, they tell them to shut the fuck up. That shows that J.J. Abrams has no respect, and Kathy Kennedy have no respect for Star Wars, and think of them as cursory characters that are always supposed to be hated. I think that the way they think of it is that, you know, we need to move on to the new one, and BB-8 is the new one. No, they think of it, no, they think of it as the same way

[01:13:59] that Rian Johnson mistakenly thought of Yoda. He goes, what I remember is that Yoda's a kooky little old man, and Kathy Kennedy goes, I remember when everyone's saying shut up to C-3PO. You don't pay attention to where that character would be in the tale that you're telling. You just only remember a cursory knowledge of it, and you're like, actually, Rian Johnson, the reason why Yoda was acting like an old fool to Luke when he first showed up on Dagobah is because that's the way he would act to any intruder.

[01:14:29] He'd pretend like he's an old fool. Then, when he's like, he doesn't know, you're like, oh shit, he's actually mad serious. That's how Yoda actually is. That's why he is that way in the prequel. It's very weird that Yoda decides as a ghost to act like silly Yoda. This scene is really powerful. Just them, two hot people smoldering across Coruscant while Anakin's crying because he knows what he's about to do. He knows what he's about to do.

[01:14:58] And look who it is. She's not telling him to shut the fuck up and go away. I know. You know what? If they want to have a droid that they want to tell to shut the fuck up because that's what happened in the original ones, they should tell BB-8 to shut up because he's fucking annoying. And also, he has nothing to say. He's annoying. He acts like a dog. So now is when the movie starts going, I guess, for people because this is truly when it all starts happening. Yeah.

[01:15:29] I mean, this just looks fucking awesome. Yeah. Perfect. Like, this is what you want to see. This is like the Jedi. Star Wars and the Senate. Wow. You know why people like these quotes? Because they're timeless and they're good. They're definitive. That's why memes work for them. It's treason. They're definitive. Wow. Wow. That's insanely scary. And that scream kills them all. Immediately.

[01:15:59] That's the power of a Sith Lord. Mace Windu with his purple lightsaber. Purple. Pimp-ass lightsaber. Purple lightsaber. It's the best. Scary. Scary faces are being made by Ian McDermott, too. Life or death. On, like, perfect head replacement. This is life and death. This is for the fate of the galaxy. This is what Star Wars is supposed to be about. And he's a Sith. They're finding out that he's a Sith. He's like, yes, yeah. It's like,

[01:16:29] scary. I am a Sith. But you also see the anger in Mace Windu. Yes. Too angry. Jedi aren't supposed to be. You know why? Because they're, yeah, because they're so embarrassed. Because their liberalism has failed. They thought that, they thought everything was all good and that, like, you know, things were, Well, when you're too liberal, you let, you get cocky. You think everything's going to be, oh, don't worry, everything's going to be fine. All the smart people are in charge. In the history. We're all good.

[01:16:58] Oh, awesome. Oh, it's Obama. He's the smartest. Finally, we have a smart president. Feels good to finally have a smart president. Now, Leslie, what do you think about Mace Windu as a black man? You know, like, how do you approach him? How do you think about this? I mean, I gotta be honest, like, I've grown to appreciate it more. I thought, I expected more, something more bombastic initially when I heard Sam Jackson was going to be in it. But you have to understand that that might have been

[01:17:27] an instinct of the time, even of now. He's actually subdued to very much a character, like a weird, noble Qui-Gon character. He's acting. I've always liked him. Instead of being Samuel L. Jackson. And you, I really love that now, seeing that. Yes. He's not just defaulting. This is the scariest thing. Oh, it's so good. That is the scariest face I've ever seen in my life. That's from a true Shakespearean actor

[01:17:57] that you use. You don't just rely on fucking Laura Dern or fucking... Wow, holy fuck. This is... Now, here's another theory. Does the lightning actually deform him or does the lightning actually show us who he was always? Or is he being depleted because of how much he's using the force to overcome Which one? We don't know.

[01:18:26] I tend to think that it's, you know, using dark powers does deform you. That's what you learn from Knights of the Republic. Yeah. Wow. It is a little bit ableist, but that's how it works in the Star Wars universe. This felt like... This felt like... This felt like an existential thing that this scene... And see, Mace Windu is, you know, saying, kill him. Kill him. He's saying the same thing that Palpatine said earlier.

[01:18:55] I am weak. I am... I am my pee-pee. I made duty in my pants. Yes. Anakin, my... I made pee-pee. Ah! Ah! No! You cannot attack man who made pee-pee. Ah! Power! That's another one. Unlimited power. Wow. This was like a limited... Wow.

[01:19:25] That is like better than any... That's like Daniel Day-Lewis times two. He like goes flying out. Ah! That's like... That's scary. He's like... Ha ha ha. What have I done? Oh, God! What have I done? Padme! I will do any...

[01:20:04] Oh, Master. Master. Do you want to save Padme? I will do anything, Master. Yeah. Well, then look at this. No. No.

[01:20:34] It's shaped like a corkscrew. Oh, God. Do you think the force is what... Using the force is what does that to it? Or, uh... Grink! Ah! Okay. Scary. That's scary. This is scary. This is like a nightmare. Yeah, it really is. This is... Are you telling me this isn't scary? Fucking scary. It's horrifying. It's horrifying.

[01:21:03] It's just like... Oh, God. Wow. His voice. Oh! I love it. Like he just came up with it. Wow. Half in dark. Right. Right. Which is where they got the idea of the new

[01:21:32] fucking title. Yeah. Oh, my God. Poor Yoda, too. Yoda feels it. Feels it. Got you in your feelings now. That sucks. Yoda in his feelings. George knew. I love the Coruscant backgrounds. Just... Mm-mm. Because there's so much going on. You know there's a whole life and a whole world out there. Because this is a real place. Not blowing up six planets at the same time. And then moving on. Yeah. On a planet

[01:22:02] where everyone's like, was that Coruscant? And they're like, no, it's just a different... Another Coruscant. It was another Coruscant. And then he gets the hood up. Well, that's another thing. Actually, J.J. made it easier for... Easy for us to count out all of his films. It was very easy. You're like, is this Tatooine? No, it's Jakku. You're like, oh, all right. Well, like, it's just easy to cut out the bootlegs. Poe Dameron! Poe Dameron!

[01:22:37] This is so scary. Like, I feel bad watching this now. Also, just like a great tragedy, you're watching your sexiest people with... They're paired with the reverse boyhood Shakespearean Alec Guinness Ian McDermott Our sexiest kid Hayden now is a school... Becoming a school shooter. You're so sad. It's a tragedy. He's becoming radicalized. I mean, that is... This also is ISIS.

[01:23:07] It actually applies... This was made, what, in 2005? It applies to white supremacists school shooting and ISIS. That's what I previously said. I've said for white people, the school shooter incel is the same thing as the ISIS radical for a Muslim. They're basically, like, the same exact thing. You're like, oh my God, here we go. It's the same version, extreme version

[01:23:37] of a movement and this is what George is predicting in Anakin. A radicalized using their own emotion. I couldn't get the girl. It's just the way these things work. It's sort of another sort of argument in favor of it being timeless is that it's like, oh, this is just how political movements happen. He's attempting timelessness but what I'm saying is he's achieving timelessness. Right, I agree. And the shot of him walking up the step with all the clone troopers to stay in the back. If this was Jihadi John

[01:24:07] or whatever school shooter, this is the same story. It's like, okay, there they go. They were radicalized. They're going in. They have this new belief system. And the traitorous incel clones. But, of course, he gives us the Bible lesson. He's like, okay, if you do that, then you're going to lose the very thing that you were getting into it for. This movie is just, like, pretty brutal

[01:24:36] through the end here. It's actually the Empire Strikes Back of the prequels. It really is. Like, it just, like, ends so dark. Dark. For a trilogy to end this way is pretty wild, actually. I think you'll be needing this. Yeah. He finds it. That's so funny. That's, like, very, like, serial, like, Flash Gordon-y. Thanks, Cody! You dropped your blaster, sir. Thanks, Cody! Yay!

[01:25:09] Well, that's the other thing that's funny is that, actually, George, here's another actual crystalline point. George doesn't manipulate your emotions the way that Marvel does to fake your reaction. So, meaning, he will still have a natural... This is a dope shot. Yeah. Look at this. That shot is dope. Um... Well, this is the best part of the entire movie. Wow, this scene is really cool. I was gonna say,

[01:25:37] he actually gets your emotion in real ways rather than evoking... This is the only way to kill the Jedi, too. Like, this is so sad. Manchurian candidate. Kia DiMundi. Come on, fellows. I'm in Bastogne. No! Friendly fire! Wow. Wow. And also, he's like, gah, gah! He, like, acts it well. That's, like, a great death. The hottest Twi'lek. This is so cool. It's just this planet.

[01:26:06] On, like, a big flower planet. George, it's so funny. George can find out what the new planet is immediately. Yeah. And J.J. just can't figure it out. He's like, one scene? Uh, flower planet. Like, J.J. can't even figure out what a new planet is. J.J.'s like, um... Desert planet. Yeah, it's like, after everything. Desert planet. Let's do a desert planet. It's deserts, too. It's also desert. In the desert universe. Yoda feels everything.

[01:26:35] Hundreds of planets of deserts. Oh, God. Wow. Just awful. Terrible. See, that is not... That's just fucked up. Wow, that's how Plo Koon went. And the music. This is horrifying, by the way. Yeah, it is. This is, like, a horrifying thing. There was so much expectation for this. I had wondered how they took out all the Jedi

[01:27:04] for years, decades, possibly. And George, like, lived up to those expectations. Wasn't afraid to do... Expectations. It's fucked up. He's like, guess what? The entire... This has paid off. He's like... He sets up Darth Sidious and Palpatine in episode one. Gets Padme to cancel out Chancellor Valorum. Puts Jar Jar

[01:27:33] in Padme's place in the Senate, episode two. He previously created a clone army that's ready. Yeah. By a Jedi who nobody knows where this Jedi went or what he looks like or who the fuck this Jedi is. Which also may be Sidious himself. Yes. May even be Sidious. Which is, if you're talking about Russia, if you're getting into that world, it's all mirroring perfectly. I saw someone post a scene. Using names that are other names

[01:28:03] just to do it. Oh, God. This scene is just too fucked. Shooter. I showed you this movie. Kate, like, cried at this scene. Shooter. This scene is too dark. That's too cute of a kid. Shooter. And also, he's meant to look exactly like Jake Lloyd. It's, like, meant to make the whole thing come full circle. Kills himself. That's so dark. And also, what true storytelling is. So dark. And 2005, he is warning us. That's the thing. He made this movie.

[01:28:32] It's like Eyes Wide Shut with Kubrick. He warned us too well and the corporations didn't want us to know that much. He warned us too well. You think that he warned us too well? He might die someday? No, because he sold. He'd sold. And also, he's going to live that down for the rest of his life. That's why he's like, a museum. Like, he's like, I'll spend the money. I don't want any of it. I know. This is weird. Wow.

[01:29:06] What the fuck? Nazism. Wow. Oh, man. I love this. The little Jedi kid that escaped. I think this is George Lucas's son also. The real lightsaber kid. This is the right kind of nepotism. It's not like, guess what? The new Star Wars Disney Plus is written by Colin Lucas. It's like, oh, guess what? He got to be in the scene

[01:29:35] and he doesn't look like an idiot. He looks kind of cool. That's good nepotism. Not like, for the next 40 years I have to deal with fucking Carlton Cuse and J.J. Abrams' kid giving me notes on a fucking property thing that I'm writing on. Did you see the video that J.J. Abrams and his son did to announce that they're writing a Spider-Man comic? That is terrible. Unaware. Also, this is so funny. The thing about J.J. is how unaware he is about how,

[01:30:05] but you know, it's either unaware or it's, you are so, so cocky that nobody, that you'll never get caught. It's like, you know, just pure, pure, oh, this is sad. Wow. Wow. They knew each other instead of Chewbacca just being, you know, some kind of slave or something. this is another thing that you, Yeah, like, in like a, a cage.

[01:30:35] This is also another thing that you imagined. Like, for some reason, Yeah. all the Jedi are in such danger that Yoda has to get on an escape pod and go to Dagobah. Yeah. Guess what? You, that's exactly what happened. Na, na, na, na, na, na, like the Yoda song. When Yoda comes back in The Last Jedi, they play the same song and no one gave a fuck about it. And in Attack of the Cloth when Yoda fought,

[01:31:05] everyone gave a fuck about it. We're back on Princess Leia's ship. Well, for the first time, back for the first time, I should say. Yeah. The traitorous Cody. This shit, I mean, this movie is like just good top to bottom. Like, it's like, Yeah, there's no serious complaints about this one. It looks cool, like, the action's cool.

[01:31:36] And it hits you. It hits you emotionally in a way that's real. It's fucked up. Like, and it's like relentless kind of too. And that's Spider-Man turning into dust or whatever. And then they put out the trailer for his next movie before he's even come back. None of that shit. Like, this happened. It happened. There's no outs. There's no redemption. Man. There's no coming back.

[01:32:07] Yeah, no, Anakin, like, massacred children. Like, that has happened in this movie at this point. Like, Jesus. Wow. He's like, back after doing a, like, Sandy Hook. Wow. And she just has no idea.

[01:32:44] And Anakin actually believes it. That's the scary part. I mean, he did see that. he saw that. It happened. He did see that, actually. And they asked him to spy on the Chancellor when they weren't supposed to earlier. Yep. They made their bed.

[01:33:32] Yeah, this is like when you hear in the story on the news or on ID channel, like, after they, like, did the shooting, like, they, like, texted their girlfriend, like, like, everything's okay. I'm waiting for her, too. Did you hear what happened on, did you hear about what happened today? Isn't it crazy? Oh, I think that's very crazy, too. Anyway. Well, he's under a lot of stress, R2. Wow.

[01:34:02] And he brought R2 along to murder Obi-Wan. This is, like, so, so, that's the thing, like, Anthony Daniel, like, you have to understand, the prequel trilogy is different than the original trilogy. Sure. Very, very different. Yeah, this is like, um, a Shakespearean tale that's happening at the palace rather than the adventure Odyssey. Instead of the Odyssey, it's more of, like, Hamlet. Yeah, that's true. It's, it's, it's formal. Yeah, it takes place, like, with, like, royals. Exactly.

[01:34:31] It's Old Testament. Yeah. The Old Testament and the New Testament. Old Testament is prequels, New Testament is the original trilogy. Obviously, the Segal trilogy doesn't count. That's a great shot. Look at how 70s it looks, too. Well, we're back on the ship. Even though it also has a little CG Yoda that looks better and more retro and cool than anything I've seen in 2019 is this one shot. It's dollying back and panning down in, like, a wide angle lens and keeping them

[01:35:01] all perfectly in, like, a 70s retro ship. This should be rewarded in 2019. Instead, we're getting Avengers and Rise of Skywalker. This is the thing that actually is more THX 824 cool than anything coming out right now. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Mustafar. Which, you know, it was nice to get a glimpse of it in Rogue One. Yes.

[01:35:31] Darth Vader's castle in Mustafar. Wow. Well, that's what I was saying. I like you see the industry of it. I'm saying that the last 30 minutes of Rogue One could be included in the shuffle. You just, like, put out some of the scenes. It's a lot cleaner to not do it, actually, to just cut off all Disney, but if you're gonna put it in, it would be Darth Maul scene in Solo and last 30 minutes of Rogue One. So you could just as easily get rid of it, but the reason why

[01:36:00] I even consider it is because, and the reason why people actually think Rogue One is the best one is because they embrace the prequels because obviously the creators of Rogue One knew, like we do, that the prequels are better than the sequels and are sometimes with Revenge of the Sith, sometimes I would put Revenge of the Sith in my top three Star Wars of all time. A New Hope, Empire Strikes Back, Revenge of the Sith.

[01:36:29] I sometimes go that way. I do, actually. All I know for certain is that A New Hope is my top number one. Yes. A New Hope is number one. Empire Strikes Back. The Jedi is great. It's so good. The first 40 minutes is incredible and there's so much incredible stuff in it. I'm saying, yeah, exactly. But this one is also really, really good. I almost think that there's 40 minutes, instead of it being the first 40 minutes, the last 40 minutes of Return of the Jedi, which obviously the first 40 minutes are the best

[01:36:59] mixed with the lightsaber fight at the end. Yeah. But otherwise, they're going back into Death Star 2, which I will always fault it for. I'm like, that's a little bit too redundant. And also the performances are like the worst that they have been. Not Ian McDermott, not Darth Vader. Yes. Luke is okay. Luke's fine, but yes. Harrison and Carrie are weird. C-3PO is really good. But this movie, like right now, the sequence, even the shot right now, you can string together within this two

[01:37:28] and a half hour movie about an hour and a half or an hour that is better than any hour in Return of the Jedi. Yeah. Let's put it that way. I'm not talking about this half is better than this half. I'm saying within all of Revenge of the Sith, look at that, even like a little payoff to the next movie, you can find more time that is better and truer Star Wars story and visuals than you can find in Return of the Jedi. Wow.

[01:37:58] Lord Vader. And the first thing he does, he murders all the people who know too much. He's just the Emperor's little killing machine by then. And you know, some people say that's dope. Look, this is sick. They're fighting together. Obi-Wan and Yoda are fighting together worthy of the Jedi archives to get into the Jedi archives, by the way. To warn the other Jedi. But also, Anakin, you have to understand, and of course,

[01:38:28] the Senate Rotunda that they established in Episode 1, this is something not in the original trilogy that is all about the bureaucracy of how... I love the Senate Rotunda. Fascism rises with applause. Yeah. It doesn't rise through the people. He's actually blaming the political class for this, for school shootings, for fascism. He's blaming like failed liberalism and bureaucracy

[01:38:58] for the rise of fascism. And the Jedi are like, oh yeah, morally we're okay. Yeah, we're complacent. The Jedi's are like, the people must handle their own affairs and we can't get involved in that kind of stuff. don't do it. They are like the wisest for themselves. And I gotta say, if Anakin was able to do all this, maybe they should have made him a master. Maybe they should have honed this power instead of trying to control it. why do they have to be so weird? Yeah, why do they have so weird enough? I know. Gatekeepers.

[01:39:28] They're gatekeepers is what they are. I know. That's exactly why I think that, yeah, like why didn't the girls just fuck the ultimate gentleman? Like, why didn't they just make him a master? He was worthy. But you know what? That's 2020 hindsight. You can't think of that. It might have stopped everything, but you just can't think about it. Wow. Wow. All of a sudden. We get so much good lightsaber killing

[01:39:58] in this one. Yeah. I know. There's so much. Also, he's killing the Trade Federation, which is so funny. His eyes. Being a Sith makes your eyes change color. touch with the dark side physically manifests. That's canon. Yeah. This looks insane. Instead of like, that is so dope. Him with his blue guard. That is so much pressure. It looks like I'm looking at art. Like, that's better than anything. Look at this shot, bro.

[01:40:28] This is so much better than any Guardians, Marvel. Yeah. This is like, insane art. I'm like, look at this shot. This shot is so cool. That is cool. That's like a Satan, Satan Hitler. She says it to the back row. She's like beautiful Mary Magdalene, and he's like the Antichrist. This shit is fucking crazy right now. That line is great. They're killing the Italians. We felt so, we were so angry at these people. We thought they were the villains, and then George makes us feel sorry for them.

[01:40:58] George makes, Yes, because we all understand how it rises, how it works. He's warning us. He's warning us with aliens. He's pretending that they're alien tales, even though if an alien saw them, they would understand it more. In order to have a fake portal of abstraction to just give it back to us to actually deliver the spoonful of sugar with the medicine of how to stop fascism, how to stop these things.

[01:41:26] But because the corporations were against it, we deny them as silly. We're like, this is silly. George, why did you give us something so silly? This is like the most serious thing I've ever seen in my life. And everyone's like, remember how silly Jar Jar was with the poo-poo doo-doo? We're like, this predicts fucking school shooters and fascism and he's warning us and he's using aliens to tell us about democracy and the failures of our bureaucratic

[01:41:55] liberalism. And everyone's like, I remember when there was like doo-doo on Jar Jar's foot because the corporations told you to think that. And the heartbreak in Obi-Wan finding out the truth about Anakin. He's crushing. That's actual character stuff. That's not Poe Dameron stuff. That's not Jin Erso stuff. That's Obi-Wan. I will not kill Anakin even if I saw that. This is like asking

[01:42:25] the craziest thing ever of someone. You have to kill your brother. Yoda is like, when we meet Yoda, we know that he asked Obi-Wan to kill his own brother, which is Luke's dad. Like, that shit is so Shakespearean and crazy and we don't even think about how perfect that storytelling is. At all. this is the most beautiful, crazy climax you could ever have in our own. Yeah, this one is like We had a Shakespeare in 2005 and the great

[01:42:55] fucking irony is that we all pretended it was terrible. Look at that shot. This one does really feel That's fucking beautiful. This one does really feel unimpeachably good. Yes. Two is the most sort of debatable. One is the most, I think, unfairly maligned. I see, I see. But this one, this one is the most like, sort of unimpeachable. Look at this shot. That's better than any shot I've ever seen in my life. I had last shot. It's just the stakes. The stakes just keep, it's all,

[01:43:25] the stakes could not be higher. We're talking about a Bible on another planet. It's 30, a Bible on another planet. It was 30 years of our dreams all coming to this point. And it lived up. And it's perfectly, right now we're watching something that was shot in 2004. It is so perfectly timeless. It does look just as good as anything. Timeless. The most beautiful girl in the world at the time. Ewan McGregor, the most charming

[01:43:54] Jedi guy you could ever find. He looked through Danny Boyle and Trainspotting. Everyone is perfect. The sets are perfect. The costume was the highest level costume designer you can get. Everything was perfect. It was all an independent film. There's a statue behind them. Look at all of the cars flying. It's like living in Fifth Element times a million with Christ. This is the greatest Bible, this is the best thing we could ever ask for.

[01:44:24] Admit it. It's true, folks. You're going to kill him. This is good. You're going to kill him, aren't you? He's become a very great threat. Oh my God. He's like, I don't want to say. That's the scariest shit. Also, Anakin's like, don't you ever make me a cuck, Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan, you're trying to cuck me.

[01:44:53] That's like the whole, that's another predictive element of George. He's like, no, you brought him to cuck me. You're going to cuck me in front of me. Wow. On Mustafar, of our places. I like when we came to Mustafar earlier, we immediately saw what their industry was. They were pulling things out with giant, like, lava here and lava there. Lava, lava, la. They're like lava merchants. When you sing the

[01:45:23] Lala song, lava, lava, Him just waiting with that cloak blowing, looking pimp as hell. We're in molten here, pouring molten there. the lava bots go la la la. Come on. And he's still crying. He's crying. Wow. And a scar. And hood. Great. Look at that. And beautiful light.

[01:45:50] Oh dear. That's like, I mean, that was just a great shot. I know, you're just like, we're on this like, big glare coming from the... So much better than any of this fucking bullshit. Another good C-3PO moment.

[01:46:20] Like, that's a moment that we give him. We're not telling him to shut the fuck up. He's like, I'm getting the hang of it. You're like, oh shit, you're gonna get your mind wiped and you're gonna have to redo liking it. It's like a dramatic irony joke. Like, later he goes, I don't like flying. It's because you got your mind wiped and now we had a joke about it. Like, so good. Everyone's like, fuck you, George. Obi-Wan sneaks on in order to murder his brother. His brother's son, I should say, actually.

[01:46:52] Wow. Palpatine pulls off his little plan. He like, he like orchestrates all the separatists. He gets his guys to go in and kill them so that no one will find out that it was him behind the entire thing. He did it. And look, now they're both exactly the same. So, so what, what Emperor Palpatine did was a false flag operation to consolidate power. A gulf of Tonkin, if you will. Yeah. And then Padme.

[01:47:22] And so, that's why I'm saying, so in that way, did George 2 predict 9-11? Well, yes, of course, because look, that's why I'm saying that this film and these films, it's like Eyes Wide Shut. That's why they killed Stanley. Like, instead of killing him, they overtook him with economics. Right. He was hiding within his silly 12-year-old Star Wars film the code of all, exposing everything, of telling us about everything that ever happened,

[01:47:52] all the stuff he believed about in Vietnam War, everything he ever talked about, Nixon, the Vietnam War, predicting Bush. This is all post-Bush, by the way. So this is also not Phantom Menace, No, but he predicted both of the Phantom Menace. And we should point out that, you know, since, you know, the sequels invented, like, strong female characters, some people might say, oh, all Pam May does in this one is to the realm to be pregnant. No, she goes off and goes to find

[01:48:21] her satanic husband on the lava planet. She goes to hell. haven't we already figured out that she's, like, so brave? Yeah, she goes to hell to find her man. Yes. That's what she does. She, like, goes into hell and to try to, like, bring him back. This is a Greek myth. This is a tragedy from Shakespeare. This is following every single beat. When they were in the arena together and kissed before they thought they were gonna die, this is the payoff. This is, like, sad. This is the most beautiful thing

[01:48:51] and the saddest thing because he's already killed the younglings. He's done. She doesn't believe that. She doesn't even know. We also experienced that when we even first saw them meet that dramatic irony. She does not know that he's already evil. He's already Satan. I don't know. I think Anakin could have been saved. I think even up at this point, no, he's done. I think it's possible. He's done. That's what's so crazy. In what way?

[01:49:20] Well, he gets saved in Return of the Jedi, does he not? Of course he gets saved. But look, I do think that you can get saved. I'm just saying at this point, there's no saving. I like to believe there's a chance. Every time I watch, I like to believe that he turns to Padme. That there was a version of the movie that he goes like, Padme, you're right. Let's leave. We must leave. Get out of here now, Obi-Wan, my friend. Thank God you're here. Let's get on a skiff and skadoodle.

[01:49:50] Let's go and kill Palpatine immediately. Palpatine, your head will be on my platter. But that's why it's so compelling is because these prequels, Leslie, have led you to believe there is a world until this. This is when I cried. That's when I cried. I didn't cry the whole series until she said you're breaking my heart because she truly, I was also thinking, I was like, what if Hayden

[01:50:19] right before that take was like, actually, Natalie, we're done. We're through. Like, since Attack of the Clones, they'd been together and then George is like, do it. Break up with her. Break up with her, Hayden. Remember that thing we talked about at the Holiday Inn the other day? I don't even want to do it, George. At the Holiday Inn, at the Holiday Inn, Sydney. Oh, wow. Kill me. He's fucking choking her. George, are you sure we should do it? Anakin.

[01:50:49] I want you to do it right before the take. Something my friend, Stanley Kubrick. You're pregnant fucking, wow, what a piece of shit. He is too far gone. Yes. It was Obi-Wan's fault. Yep. Also, that's why these things are so memeable. It's the same way the Bible quotes can be put on any picture of the beach. They're very basic. And that's like, that's what I'm saying. Exactly. You have done that to yourself. He's thinking, yes,

[01:51:18] exactly. In the world where someone fucked up. And it's easily translatable. Yeah. There's no nuance, which is also a curse, a nuanced curse of the momentism. This is truly the craziest thing. Wow. That shot.

[01:51:58] Liberals. Yeah. To voting. Anakin, can't you see? Voting is what's most important. We have to get them out there, out of there with our votes, Anakin. Democracy. Wow. We'll try. Perfect. Actually, I do think that George is saying that there should be someone in charge, but it's not Anakin. Wow. Also, wow. This is where we get into it

[01:52:27] because in the Phantom Menace and to some extent Attack of the Clones, but really in Revenge of the Sith, if you talk about lightsaber battles, think about the lightsaber battles that have happened so far in the sequels. Zero crappy crap crap. That's dope. Well, there's the one in Last Jedi where they do effects to make him have another thing appear no, no. The thing where they do it together doesn't even, it's nothing. No lightsabers touch.

[01:52:57] Yeah, we're talking about lightsabers fight. Fight. The prequels did lightsaber fight better than the original trilogy and they always did it every single time. That's uncontroversial. Look at how scary. See, Yoda wasn't expecting that shit. Wasn't ready for that shit. Scary. Look at this. Jesus. This is the craziest fight.

[01:53:27] It's so insane. Also, it's them doing it. through a lava planet, which is a new planet, which George said and everyone knows every planet should be an entirely new environment. Brand new planet. Lava planet. They haven't really done that in the new ones, have they? look, going through a corridor that's a practical set into a CG set. That shot that they just did has been stolen so many times, by the way. Going through that corridor fighting that's been stolen a lot since this.

[01:54:02] Wow. Also, in the Grievous having four lightsabers, Darth Maul having two, in the exact sequel way, you are now going to see the Emperor versus Yoda. Why are we mad about this? Why are we mad about this? What if Yoda fought the Emperor in the most basic way? That's a bigger deal than when Han Solo went against Kylo Ren and got killed in meat. There's no big battle. Wow. This is dope. Look, he gets hit in a real way.

[01:54:33] And you know, at this point, Yoda could have stopped it all if he was strong enough. He could have ended it. I know. That's what he'll always wrestle with. You can tell he's wrestling with that in Dagobah. He thinks he failed. If he would have killed Darth Sidious right now, all of it would have been over. So he lives in Dagobah as a hermit with frogs on his dick thinking that it's all because of him that everything happened. Like a hermit.

[01:55:04] Like the biggest stakes in the biggest French film franchise of all the time. Come on. Yeah. And it's it's with characters. We know the unassuming. Yes, exactly. We we all for these characters. We know in a way that's generational. We don't even know it in a way that's like last year's Spider-Man Homecoming came out and I know who the like fucking guy is who did the selfie video.

[01:55:35] We know and I'm looking for that payoff in the new this is like we know it in two ways actually. Both like within just this trilogy on its own and in the 20, 30 year old sort of that's how he thinks that's why I'm saying you we are so stupid for ever criticism. He's thinking in terms of hundreds of years hundreds of years he set up the the Senate Rotunda in Phantom Menace in order to pay this off. It's so cool.

[01:56:18] You know in how often time in the well in the Phantom Menace they had the three battles going. He just does the two here because it all comes down to this. Wow.

[01:56:48] Beautiful. Such a cool planet. This is also look at how distinct I get to do all the fates coming. It's so distinct the Emperor God reverse boyhood Shakespearean actor Ian McDermott versus Yoda Frank Oz now digital he can fight versus

[01:57:17] Anakin Skywalker who becomes Darth Vader versus Obi-Wan Kenobi played by Ewan McGregor as Alec Guinness. All of these characters we track with we know exactly what their intentions are what their goals are why they're fighting who they're fighting for Anakin and the Emperor line up Yoda and Obi-Wan line up but they also have different histories and different prides that they're dealing with

[01:57:47] this is all so trackable in this movie what will Poe Dameron fight for in the Rise of Skywalker saving the things friends you love instead of fighting the things fucking Laura Dern well she's dead actually one time I fucked Laura Dern's character look at this wow

[01:58:19] SNL won by the way really yeah really it's the night of the Emmys here and I guess SNL won for what best show or best sketch writing or show all right good shit you know you know that's how it is that's good you know that's good yeah that's real good

[01:58:49] so sick it's great anyway this is something that's actually this is Alec Baldwin was on Epstein plane this is dope never found George on that plane you know he was rich rich oh man let's google that just to make sure do you want to you don't have to look that up actually Mr. Epstein I'd rather not enter your private

[01:59:19] plane are you sure Hayden wow the shot of a lifetime this is truly the greatest now this shot I can maybe do without some of these Yoda shots right here I don't know about this shot everybody wow that's bug main is taking a stand against one thing and it might be the wide angle lens of Yoda right there you know what just so you know that I'm completely I am

[01:59:48] actually an objective viewer I don't know about those wide angle shots of Yoda in that little crawl space I don't think George Lucas was ever with Jeffrey Epstein although I did find an article I'm talking about Hayden I did find an article theorizing that Indiana Jones is based on Jeffrey Epstein but I think that's just a weird theory well I believe that obviously

[02:00:18] so Yoda has lost he has failed the republic and the whole galaxy he has to run away with his tail between his legs this is a lava planet that they're on Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker this is what like I was saying before imagine this you're watching the prequels after the original trilogy and you're seeing this now imagine you're watching them before

[02:00:48] and you see Alec Guinness go like yeah we were friends you are like whoa bro that's fucking crazy both directions work both ways both directions work he's like both ways you know we knew each other at one time no I wanted my fucking life my fucking wife I'm here to kill you you killed the kids wow like yeah we knew each other at one point and Obi-Wan needs to go into exile

[02:01:18] wow oh god wow I guess I'm tired god damn this rules I mean Obi-Wan does too also John Williams is actually giving us a theme every single movie in the prequels he gives us a theme and every single movie in the sequels he gives us nothing so it's like that's the big giant Revenge of the Sith

[02:01:52] that's the love theme he's giving us that's Phantom Menace he's giving us a theme every single fucking movie and in the Disney sequels gives us nothing nothing because it's fake fake news it's like that'll be that for Darth Vader nope took care of him this is insane yeah that's insane

[02:02:22] lava planet this is like going over a waterfall in like an Indiana this is insane it is like Lord of the Rings times 10 like instead of it being in a volcano edge it's just in the volcano you're just in it fighting with swords as crazy as you can Obi-Wan

[02:02:52] wow that's sad he's insane he's like real Jedi are evil he's insane that's it's like talking to it is like they're like oh like Anakin is like he's a robotic actor no at this point he's robotic he's just like I from my point of view the Jedi like it's like he killed all the kids he's looking away Ewan is like looking down he's like

[02:03:22] what the fuck are you talking about dude balance good moves man and by the way for this to end the way it does the way Anakin is at the end of

[02:03:52] this fight because he is better than Obi-Wan yes that's also why this movie was rated PG-13 look at this insane this is like horrifying look at this this is Anakin that we watched as a boy we watched Obi-Wan meet him as a boy on the fucking thing and he just fucking cut off his legs and let him burn wow this is so good

[02:04:24] oh my god look at him well what's gonna what will happen so big so big so big look at this this is like bible shit bible shit look at this bible shit bible shit yes Anakin he's like green Hayden good he's good Hayden's

[02:04:54] good I loved you look at this something only men understand in the fire comes he lets him burn lets him burn he has to let his own son burn to death oh my god nah but Revely Media says it was bad I'm a jumper god

[02:05:23] I'm a jumper god but the Plinket review you know I honestly think I think the Plinket review planks out after episode one I think they kind of lose that's the thing they feel perfunctory they actually what happens it's the exact inverse of the prequels right it plunks out after episode one wow whereas the story and the character of the prequels rise the Pinkerton

[02:05:53] Plinker review falls in the exact opposite direction on the who watches the episode three no no no one no one does you know why because we agree if I start watching 70 minutes of a review of episode three I'm just gonna watch episode three and guess what you're gonna find out like we did tonight that this is the good one this one is like kind of unimpeachably good I think I really don't see any like so I guess there's some this isn't a joke anymore every shot is awesome George wasn't

[02:06:23] fucking around with this George was not fucking around ever yeah this is like he's like really fucking doing it also you have to understand George directed this yeah wrote it yeah he did everything this is an independent this is PT Anderson this is Wes Anderson this is all the fucking top motherfuckers of all time this shit just the will of Darth Vader scary look that's real lava elements by the way that's lava

[02:06:52] elements that ain't no fucking Marvel Avengers ass shit yeah that does look like a real that does look like real lava look and also all of his ships are like proto versions of things that show up not versions like the sequels where it's like why would they go back these are the proto versions that you can see them evolve into wow they don't look like fucking Legos wow oh hell yeah

[02:07:22] just so dark and sad this is from the EU George listened JJ Cappy and Bob Iger don't give a fuck about George the prequels or the EU or anything Star Wars that's not the original trilogy or some cursory knowledge of it in order to sell idiots on what Star Wars is they only care about that they don't care about this George read all the EU approved all of it said you know what I'm gonna take swoop bikes I'm gonna take

[02:07:52] fucking lava fight he took things and that was like oh shit like our master Joseph Campbell apprentice ass storyteller took the right thing he is he's democracy in the true way there is a leader but it is still within his grasp democracy he is still picking the thing that is the best that is voted on the most he's good Anakin

[02:08:23] he will bring back look we get and these are new aliens right this is a new planet this is new they are all new the way that movies were before George sold to Disney is the way that the republic was and the state of the films of Star Wars were once it's sold it turned into the exact thing that it is it's JJ it's a republic I don't believe in a world I don't believe it's all one-to-one one-to-one

[02:08:53] every time it mirrors it perfectly it's like the ultimate warrior doing his own eulogy this is also because it's a bible story it's a bible story she dies of a broken heart that's what's so crazy people are like no this is a bible story she dies of a broken heart and this is an alien bible story where a

[02:09:22] robot next to a little frog who's a master is talking to a christ in robes about how the mary magdalene of the antichrist is dying of a broken heart and the two twins that are coming out need to be separated and hidden from the antichrist got this shot too look at that horrifying nah

[02:09:54] gah that may master over one gah this is sad wow christ this is alien that's what i was saying let's connect it all the way to the beginning of the episode what i was saying if i went to neptune and i found their version of the bible this would be exactly it this is exactly you go

[02:10:23] to another planet you go what is oh well it's like you know like anakin and he becomes like evil like and there's like a little yoda there but they believe in it the way that we believe in matthew john jesus and everything this is the exact same thing and he was creating that from like an alt punk rock standpoint what would it be what would a bible be for neptune wow i mean yeah well it's just true

[02:10:53] a lot of this was inspired by like jack kirby and the new gods they say that like dark side no i'm saying dark dark side and i think that that's what jack kirby was trying to do every single thing that joseph campbell it's all starts with the bible wow that shot's great it's so crispy clean it's like coca-cola it's like perfect perfect shot wow

[02:11:25] with natalie if that's the other thing natalie alec via ewan it's all perfect this isn't wrong you guys fucked up this is right everyone fucked up he got the number one alec baldwin ass ewan and the number one natalie portman ass got fucking all of it look at this fucking shit bro ian mcdermin

[02:11:55] is back wow wow people will get mad about how he says no no i love no you know why i love no even more because he added it into the ultimate edition after he kills um oh right after he decides to save luke he goes no right perfectly fine this is mary shelley dog this is fucking universal studios dog

[02:12:24] this is universal studios monster movie dog do you not understand in a universe right george is laughing at us he's laughing at us he goes you think it's only buck rogers i'm gonna throw at you some fucking universal studios ass shit right now and this motherfucker is gonna go where's the love where's bride of frankenstein bride of frankenstein is dead no oh boy

[02:12:55] beautiful this is universal studios monster movie darth vader was born ed wood ed wood beautiful crystal clear ian mcdermon perfect james earl jones it's way better than using james earl jones in rogue one when he just comes out and he's like general clack todd last time i spoke

[02:13:24] with you the trinity was demolished they're like what the fuck are you talking about bro in rogue one they used them for exposition yeah which is really wild this one they're like no look 70s retro thx look at the graphics look at the design look at how everyone looks hayden had long hair look at how alec guinness of the past look at the backgrounds this is all the crystal

[02:13:54] clear hd for all time posterity connection clearest version of assets to connect this movie with the 1970s movie that he updated in 1997 so good

[02:14:46] force ghosts killing that's a good tale and also r2 and c3po were there for the whole time right they were there and in the new one of course r2 is and naboo this is naboo yeah guys guys this is naboo remember when we saw remember when we saw

[02:15:15] queen amidala on naboo in 1999 remember when we saw that and now she's dead and jar jar and boss nass are there and remember how silly they were and now she's dead and sad and serious and now she's fucking dead guys this is how it happens also you have to understand the star wars movies grow up with the person watching them when you start watching them episode one you should be the age of anakin right and by the time

[02:15:45] now you should learn about how evil happens but guess what by the time you finish return of the jedi you understand how you overcome evil right by being the v and then and then you stop you stop you stop then you don't watch any more star wars ever again oh yeah read the books yes look at this and also look at that grand mop that's a better grand mop than it is rogue one dog the cg grand mop tarkin look at this he connects it perfectly in

[02:16:14] perfect hd wow this is like the most tragic tale i've ever told jesus christ that is what it's about honestly and then obviously alderaan which uh this is one of the saddest things ever dramatic irony you know that they're gonna get hiroshima i know it's like you know remember like in terminator and hiroshima

[02:16:44] your deepest darkest fears which is just a nuclear bomb kills everyone is what alderaan was look how nice alderaan is we get to see it so briefly and we know everyone is dead like that like that everyone on the planet like that terrible like hiroshima everyone we're watching right now is dead like that are we sure are we sure we won't see bell or gonna show up in the in the sequel like oh actually i was off world

[02:17:13] and a beautiful they missed alderaan that we we tricked look and this little fucking thing is what kidster and fucking anakin road like he still is like i i remember he's paying it off this is jesus christ do you not understand that this is alien if i went to gloop glarp neptune 17 nebula 5 and they told me they had a bible and they showed

[02:17:43] me this i would completely understand like there they are the uh and waddle gave them what do you want to bet what do you what do you want to bet the new one also ends with this exact same they'll try i mean i think they might go into every single movie but this is funny this is hilarious just two normie pudgy fucking bible people looking out they're like jesus christ israel but it's space christ yeah look

[02:18:13] you guys fucked up admit that you fucked up what me no everyone else all right this is the best this is the close the bible was written 2 000 years ago the odyssey and the iliad was written longer than that yeah and now we have this yeah that's it admit it i i think this one is pretty unimpeachable there's some stilted dialogue here and there but i i this one is important

[02:18:43] i don't really get it when people argue that this one is like bad no one says that no one actually says it when you actually call them out they have to admit that this one is good they can't they can't really defend this one they'll say the prequels are bad but then you call them out it's like no we're turning to sif everyone liked it everyone liked it then everyone likes it now it's a great fucking movie there is nothing left to say good the prequels are good we have established

[02:19:13] this for all time that the prequels we went through them and we watched you heard it every minute of them and it turns out that they're good I mean you know we gave it the we gave it the college try we gave it the old college try you know my honest estimation is like I said earlier like I think that Phantom Menace gets the most unfairly maligned I think that Attack of the Clones is the most debatable although I do like it a lot and I think that I think that you know episode

[02:19:43] three is just unimpeachable I really do when I started out this journey with you Jack what did I say to you I said I have not watched the Phantom Menace since it came out in the day it came out in theater because I hated it so much and now I'm at the end of this journey saying that the prequels are good I came in with an open mind the prequels are good objective mind you know with leaning towards the negative but I've come around to the right way of thinking with the help of Bug May

[02:20:12] and now maybe that's just because every movie has been so bad ever since and everything is so bad but I don't think so I think they're actually good yeah it's it's I I would challenge anyone to tell me what is wrong here what what did we do wrong how did we watch this wrong please point me to the minute of this you know entire journey where we're wrong but I actually want to you know shout out to the people who have reached out to me and said you know what I'm starting to like the prequels

[02:20:42] too you know what give me power give me hope and it's it's a wonderful thing to hear so I want we've talked enough about the haters let's talk about the lovers let's talk about the people who

[02:21:17] very bad time that movie comes out they're gonna have a hard time because then the whole thing will be complete and then they'll have to put that up against the prequels and and we'll have to you know they'll have to reckon with that we're gonna have to actually we're gonna have to actually break this down on the trilogy level and how things look as a complete trilogy and it's not gonna be pretty folks sequel lovers it's not gonna be pretty sequel lovers um all right well you know bug left

[02:21:47] the room because uh you know that's that's what happens but that was bug main who was uh guesting we will be appearing with bug main me and leslie here uh struggle session will be appearing with bug main on the bug tour uh which is gonna be we're gonna be in milwaukee on october 3rd cleveland october 4th and detroit october 5th uh kate is coming too we're gonna do jack am and struggle session and bug is gonna do you know his his old town revival you know

[02:22:17] with some um preaching some lying some motivational speech um all sorts of shit it's gonna be a lot of fun uh you can go to shop.bizzio.com uh to get tickets and uh yeah i mean we leslie and i are gonna be there it's gonna be it should be a very fun show wear your prequels gear um wear your prequels to yeah yeah get signed by the bug himself yeah all right folks that was struggle session our journey through the star wars prequels

[02:22:47] we'll be back with another commentary track very soon maybe maybe we'll do the ot maybe we'll do the ot i don't know we'll see you know i the whole question is leslie if we do the original trilogy do we do the special editions do we do these ones that are like the theatrical version that people have put out like which one whatever is available on um like rarbg.com probably wherever the best whatever the best torrent going around

[02:23:16] is all right well uh good times uh we'll uh talk to you later peace bye everyone